Heart of the Ocean
by JayBe
Summary: Spencer Dose not know if she can be with Ashley. Even if she wants to be.
1. Prologue

A/N: Hey this is my First South of Nowhere fic. Im kinda new to the show. So if I get anything wrong please tell me. Oh yeah, I dont own South of Nowhere or the characters, and all that jazz. SO if you like it please review

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The sun was setting over the ocean, giving the water an orange-red glow. It was a site that most people would not want to turn there eyes away from. Everyone but Ashley Davies. She was trying to hard not cry to pay attention to the sunset. 

Ashley was sitting on the beach with her knees to her chest with her arms wrapped around them. Tears started to roll down her face when it became to much for her to hold in.

"I love you, and thats why I can't be with you anymore. I don't think that I can do it," is what Spencer Carlin had just said to her a few minuets ago.

"But I love you to. I want to be with you, we can be together." Ashley said back.

"It's not that. Its just I don't want to have to live a lie. I can't lie to my parents anymore."

"Then tell them when you are ready."

"I don't think that I will ever be ready. My parents will freak out if i ever tell them. There not like your mom who..."

"Who what?" Ashley said cutting Spencer off, "doesn't love me? Go on say it. Its what you were going to say wasn't it?"

"Fine, yes. Thats what I was going to say. My parents love me unlike your mom." Spencer yelled.

Ashley then was left by her self on the beach. She stood there hugging her self. She was mad. She did not know what she was mad about. Was it because what Spencer said? Or was it because what Spencer said was true?

* * *

Spencer sat in the passenger seat of Ashley's car. Thinking about what just happened. Wondering why she said that about Ashley's mother. She know that her mom was a soft spot, but still she said it. She didn't mean what she said, she was just caught up in the moment. 

Spencer looked up and saw Ashley coming towards the car. There eyes meet for a little bit. Spencer could see that she was crying.

'Oh my god. What did I do?' Spencer thought to her self.

Ashley stopped ten feet away from the car and looked at Spencer. Spencer took her eyes away. Not that she wanted to, but she could not look into the eyes of the person who's heart she just broke. The person that she loves.

Spencer got out of the car and turned and walked away.

"Where are you going?" Ashley said.

"I'm going home." Spencer said with out turning around.

"Would you stop. You don't have to walk. You live like ten miles away. Let me give you a ride." Ashley said

"Please don't be nice to me." Spencer said, still with her back turned on Ashley. " Not after what I just said. I want you to hate me."

"Hate you? Are you crazy? I could never hate you." Ashley paused. "Please just let me take you home and we can talk tomorrow or some other time. When ever you are ready. Please."

"Stop it," Spencer yelled as tears began to roll down her cheeks. " Please stop. You are making this harder to do."

"Do what? What do you have to do?" Ashley asked.

Spencer finally turned around. She looked into Ashley's eyes.

"I love you, but I have to do this. I'm sorry."

"What do you have to do?"Ashley asked again.

"This," Spencer said as she turned and walked away into the darkness.

Ashley stood there watching her disappear into the darkness. She stood there long after Spencer was gone. She thought about running after her, but she was crying so hard that her legs would not move.

"I love you to," Ashley said to her self, "When your ready I will be here. I will be waiting for you Spencer. I will be here, always

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So there is the begainign of it. What do you think. Please tell me. I will have the first chapter up very soon. Just doing some final touches on it. REVIEW!! 


	2. An Attempt to Tip the Scales

A/N: Hey here is the first chapter. Thanks to all the people that reviewed the prologue. It really means a lot to me. I did not think that I would get that many. So thanks again and please keep them coming. As usual I do not own South of Nowhere or any of the characters.

* * *

Spencer slowly walked down the hall of her school. Her hands in her pockets, her face looking at the ground in front of her. Her face had a sad look on it. Three months have passed since the night on the beach. As hard as she tried to she could not forget. She wanted to, but she couldn't. 

The past three months have not been the best for Spencer. She has been having problems sleeping. When ever she does manage to get to sleep, it is ridden with dreams of Ashley. Her grades have be slipping, she just dose not have the heart for school anymore. To make matters worse her parents are still fighting. It has not gotten better since she and Ashley stopped seeing each other, it has only gotten worse.

Ashley was never around anymore. She has not come to school since that night. Spencer looked in her locker to see if her stuff was still there. It was, but that did not mean much. School was never her favorite place to be.

Spencer stopped walking when she heard her phone ring. She took it out of her pocket and checked to see who it was.

"Hey Aiden," she said trying to sound happy. She waited for a couple of seconds for a response. "Hey are you there?" Nothing. "Aiden stop it. I can hear you breathing. Say something already."

"Hi," a voice said on the other end.

"Ashley!" Spencer said stunned "What..." She could not think of what to say, "What are you doing with Aiden's phone?" She finally said, it was not what she wanted to say, but it was the only thing that would come out.

"I thought you would not pick up if you knew it was me," Ashley said in a timid voice. "And before you hang up on me let me say one thing, Please!"

Spencer did not say anything.

"Meet me at the beach tonight. At eight o'clock. Please come." Ashley said before the line went dead

* * *

Hanging up the phone, Ashley gave it back to Aiden. "You really think that she'll come?" She asked. 

Ashley looked down at her scrap book, which laid open on her bed. It was opened to a page that was dedicated to just pictures of her and Spencer. There were pictures of them at the beach, at school, the mall, anywhere that they went together there were pictures of them.

There was one that Ashley loved the most. It was taken on the day that she and Spencer skipped school. The day that Spencer confessed that she might like girls. The picture was taken under the pier. Ashley said that she wanted something to remember this day. So she came up behind Spencer and put the camera out in front of them and took it. Spencer was looking back at Ashley with a surprised look on her face, but Ashley was staring right into the camera smiling.

A smile came to Ashley's face wail she looked at the picture, but with that smile also came tears. "Well?" She said looking up at Aiden.

"I don't know," Aiden said running his hand through his hair. "I mean, she never talks about you. When any one else mentions your name she freezes up. I just don't know what to say."

Ashley slammed shut the scrapbook. Tears rolled down her face. She pick up the book and tossed it across the room. It hit the wall and fell on the ground opening up to the page that she had it on.

"I can't do it anymore. I need her. I can't go on with out her. What did I do, Aiden, what?" She said throwing her arms up in the air. "Tell me and I will change."

Aiden got up and grabbed Ashley and gave he a hug. Running his hands over her hair. Not knowing what to say, he just stood there.

"Thats something you are going to have to ask her. I can't answer that," he said finally.

"But what if I can't? What if when I see her I freeze up and don't know what to say.?"

"Well," Aiden said, "You will just have to be strong for both of you. Look I know that you love Spencer, and that you will do anything for her. You just have to let her know that. And let her decided what she wants you to do."

Ashley thought about this for a couple seconds. Smiling she gave Aiden a hug.  
"Have I ever told you that you would make a good girl?" She said into Aiden's ear.

Aiden reached behind and grabbed Ashley's arms bringing them in front of them. "But you have to be ready to do anything for her. Even if that means forgetting her."

Ashely didn't say anything, but instead she just stood there. Looking down at the floor, the tears began again

* * *

Spencer sat the the end of her bed looking at her clock. It was seven-ten. Her eyes went from the clock to her hands, which held Clay's keys. She had asked to borrow his car when they got home from school. He just gave them to her with out asking why. Though Spence was pretty sure he knew why. 

Seven-fifteen. Time inched along. A minute seemed like an hour to Spencer. 'Why am I even going?I know how it will end up' She thought to her self. 'But I really want to see her again. I miss her. But if I do I don't thank that I could bear to leave her again. One time was hard enough.

Seven-twenty.

"Screw it, I'm not going," Spencer said out loud.

She took the keys and placed them on top of her dresser, grabbed her headphones and laid down on her bed.

Seven-twenty-five. Spencer looked back at the clock again.

"Fuck!" She screamed out loud, thankful that no one else was home.

Spencer jumped out of her bed and ripped off her headphones. She grabbed the keys and ran out of the room.

* * *

Ashley kept walking back and forth. She was nerves, so she could not stop. When ever she saw head lights she looked up to see if they were Spence. They never were. She just went back to walking back and forth. 

"She is going to come. She is going to come," She kept telling her self. She took out her cell phone about to call her, but thought better of it and put it back. She went back to walking back and forth.

Ashely looked up when she saw more headlights. Unlike the others ones these ones pulled into the parking lot. She could not see the car, but some how she knew it was Spencer.

She waited until the car got closer. Finlay she could see the car. It was Clay's. She let out a sight of relief when she saw that is was in fact Spencer.

The care stopped but no one got out for a couple of minutes. Spencer just sat there looking at Ashley. Not sure if she really wanted to do this. Ashley began walking closer to the car. 'Well, I'm already here, right?' Spencer said to her self. She opened the door and steeped out

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Well there you go. The second chapter in on its way. Almost done writing it. Please keep the reviews coming, I can never get to many of them. 


	3. What?

A/N: Well here it is. The Second chapter!!!!! Its late right now, so a lot of this chapter is fueled by energy drinks and driven by Blue October and My Chemical Romance. So I really don't know what it is going to be like. Thanks for all the reviews. It really make writing this a lot easier. So keep them coming. And like always I do not own South of Nowhere or any of the characters. (do I really have to do this every chapter)

* * *

Spencer got out of the car and looked at Ashley, who was looking at her. They stood there looking at each other for what seemed like hours. All the time thoughts were flying through both there minds. 

'God Ashley looks like crap, but she is still so beautiful.'

'Damn, Spencer looks good. Strawberry, I can smell her perfume even from here.'

'What am I doing here? I don't know what to say. What if she says that she thinks I was right and we should not be together? Wait isn't that what you want? Yes it is...I think. God she is beautiful.'

'I don't know what to say. Why did I ask her here? What am I going to say to get her back? But she said the she loves me. Maybe I should say that she is right and we should not be together. Then maybe we can be friends. I miss her and just need to be with her.'

'Maybe we can be friends again, cus I do miss her. Yeah thats a good idea. We can be friends. I can do that, I think.'

'But can we really be just friends? I have to try. I will let her decide what we do, just like Aiden said.'

"I miss you," Ashley finally said aloud.

"Me to," Spencer said back.

They walked towards each other. When they got to each other they threw there arms around each other in a hug.

"You look like crap." Spencer said laughing.

"Thanks, you don't look bad your self," Ashley said back, "So how you doing?"

"I'm...I'm doing goo...bad," Spencer said hesitantly.

"Good, me to." Ashley said with a laugh.

An awkward silence fell over them. Nether one knew what to say next. They just looked into each other eyes.

"Look," Spencer said breaking the silence. "I was ..."

"Wait," Ashley said cutting her off. "I have to say something, and if I don't say it now I don't know if I will be able to. So please don't interrupt me." She paused a couple of seconds to let it sink in and to think of how to go on. "You were tight you can't live a lie."

'No I was wrong. I can,' Spencer thought to her self.

"I love you no matter what, and if you don't want to be with me I will respect that. But I would really like to still be your friend. I don't think that I can live with out you entirely. I will leave it up to you. If you want to never see me again, I will leave and you will never have to see my face again. If that is what you want, that is what I will do."

"I don't want you to leave. I just don't know how we can just be friends after all that has happened between us?" Spencer asked.

"I don't know. But we can at least try."

Spencer did not say anything. 'This is what I want right? To be friends, right?" She thought to her self.

"Spencer?" Ashley asked. "Spencer?"

"I...I...I can't," Spencer started to say.

"Oh," Ashely sounded hurt. "I guess..."

"Would you let me finish," Spencer said. "I can't live my life with out you. I need to be with you. The last three months have been the worst time of my life. I love you, but I don't know if I can ever be your...girlfriend again. But I do want to be your friend again. We will see how thing go from there, but slowly, very slowly."

"Really?" Ashley said with a smile.

"Yeah, really."

"Hey come over to my place. My mom is gone for the weekend. We will be alone, and I promise I will not try anything. Just friends."

"No," Spencer said taking the smile right off of Ashley's face. "Come over to my place. My parents are gone to some, marriage counseling thing."

Ashley smiled and hugged Spencer like there was no tomorrow. For all Ashley cared there could be no tomorrow. She was happy, she was finally with Spencer again and thats all that matters.

"And yes," Spencer said breaking the hug, "Just friends, best friends

* * *

"Wait, He really didn't do that did he?" Ashley asked laughing. 

Ashley and Spencer were sitting on Spencer's bed. They had changed into pajamas. Spencer was wearing a pink pair of sweats and a baby blue shirt. Ashley just had on a over sized shit, which was Spencer's.

"Yeah, once that news got around school, he came up to me and asked me out," Spencer said. "like I was really going to."

"Guys can be so stupid sometimes," Ashley said.

"So...um...how many girls did you sleep with since then?" Spencer said getting very serious.

Ashley look at Spencer, a little hurt that she would even ask something like that. She was about to respond and tell her that there was no one else, when an idea popped into her head.

"I don't know. I lost count after I hit ten," Ashley said with a smile on her face.

"Shut up," Spencer yelled and threw a pillow at her. "I want names and addresses of all of them."

"Why what are you going to do?"

"Kill them. All of them," Spencer said with an evil laugh.

"A little jealous are we?"

"Damn right I am," Spencer said in a serious tone.

"Don't worry," Ashley said, "there was no one else."

"Oh, I knew that," Spencer said in a matter-of-fact tone. "I just wanted to see what you would say."

"Is that so?"

"Well yeah. Once you have the best," Spencer pointed at her self, "why bother with the rest."

"You got that right," Ashley said pulling Spencer towards her. She shoved her down on the bed and got on top of her and started to tickle her all over her body.

Okay, I give. You win. Please stop," Spencer yelled in between her laughing.

Ashley stopped but did not get off of her. She reached down and moved a stand of hair out of Spencer's eyes. She then stared into her eyes. They were both lost in there own little world. They did not care about anything. Just where they were at the moment.

"What is she doing here?" A voice said from the doorway.

Both Spencer and Ashley were knocked out of there daze. They looked over to see who was at the door. It was Glen.

"What are you doing? I thought that you were done with this bitch. You have a boyfriend now, remember. You were starting to live a normal life again. With out her." He said.

Boyfriend, the word hit Ashley like a lead brick. 'Boyfriend, how could she do this to me? She said that she loved me. We are going to get back together. She cant have a boyfriend. Why would she lie?'

"Get out of my room you ass. He is not my boyfriend anymore, and Ashley is not a bitch! Now get out of here," Spencer yelled at him.

"Whatever," Glen said and left her room slamming the door on his way out.

Ashley, who was still on top of Spencer, got off of her and got off the bed. She walked to where her clothes were. She grabbed her pants and began to put them on.

"What are you doing? Let me explain," Spencer begged.

"Explain what? That you have a boyfriend? There nothing to explain." Ashley said as she took of Spencer's over sized shirt and threw it at her. She grabbed her shirt and put it on. She searched for her shoes, but could not find them.

"Looking for these?" Spencer said holding up Ashley shoes.

"Give them back, now" Ashley said in a low voice.

"Why so you can leave? No, not until you let me explain." Spencer pause to let Ashley say something, but she didn't. "Yes, I did have a boyfriend. Not anymore though I ended it two weeks ago."

"Who was it?" Ashley asked.

"Some one from Glen's team. He set me up on a blind date with him. It was about a month after we broke up. Look it didn't mean anything."

"Did you sleep with him?"

"What?"

"Did...you...sleep...with...him?" Ashley said through clenched teeth.

"Yes," She said looking down at the ground.

"What were not going to tell me about this?"

"No I was. Just not right now. I don't know, I thought that I would just tell you sometime and it would be no big deal." Spencer said in a quiet voice.

"No big deal. No big deal. This is a huge deal. You sleep with a guy, a guy.."

"We were not together. So what does it matter." Spencer yelled.

"Oh I get it. It's okay for you to be a slut, but not for me." Ashley yelled, regretting it as soon as it came out of her mouth.

Spencer just looked at her with a hurt look. Did she really just say that, she thought to her self. Tears began to form in her eyes.

"Look Spence, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it." Ashley said.

"I just wanted to be normal," Spencer said crying. " I just wanted my parents to stop fighting. I thought that if I had a boyfriend that would make things better between them. He kept pressuring me about it. If I was going to have a boyfriend I might as well do it right. Thats what I thought. So I sleep with him. After words I came home and cried for hours. I hated it, I wanted you to be there to hold me, but you weren't. I begged Aiden not to tell you. I knew that it would kill you. Can you ever forgive me? I'm sorry."

Ashley just stood there looking at Spencer with a look of shock on her face while she spoke. She sat down next to Spencer and put her arm around her, putting her head on her shoulder.

"No it is me that is sorry. I should not have acted like that. You had every right to have another relationship with someone else," she said in a soothing voice.

"There is one more thing," Spencer said.

"What is it?" Ashley asked.

Spencer took a deep breath. "I think that I'm pregnant."

* * *

Stay tuned for the nest exciting installment. Same website, same story. Don't you just love cliff hangers. I know I sure do :-) So tell me what you think. REVIEW!!! PLEASE!!!. The next chapter is not going to be up as quick as the last two have been. Haven't even started it yet. But I promise it will be up soon and remember REVIEW! 


	4. I need you so bad come to me now

A/N: Hey there. Next chapter up. I know it took a long time but I had to redo it like 4 times. Just could not get it the way I wanted it. Well hope you all enjoy the chapter. Please review

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Chapter 3 : When the strange girl realized that she was nothing with out her love or, I need you so bad come to me now. 

"Can I ask you something?" Spencer asked Ashley.

They were both siting on the ground there backs agents Ashley's bed. One on each side. They left Spencer's house and went and got a test. Then went to Ashley's to use it. They where now just waiting for it to finish.

"Sure," Ashley replied with out moving.

"When I told you that I slept with some guy, you did not stay mad at me for very long. Why was that? I mean I...it's like you really did not care that I did it."

Ashley sighed and hung her head. She got up from where she was sitting and laid on the bed so her head was right next to Spencer's.

"Look at me," Ashley said. Spencer turned her head to look at the brunette. "Do you really want to know?" Spencer nodded. "Okay." Ashley said before pausing for a little bit thinking about what to say. "I did...do care that you sleep with him. I'm mad to, but it dawned on me that the past three months where the worst time of my life because you were not with me. I thought, yeah I could be really mad at her and just walk out and that would be it, but what would that do? Nothing but make my life ever worse. I don't want to live with out you anymore, and by being mad and leaving I would."

Ashley put her hand on both sides of Spencer's face and looked into her eyes. "I love you and I don't want to lose you. You always forgave me for all the crap that I did to you. You forgave me when I got drunk that one time and made out with that one girl. So the least that I can do is forgive you."

They continued to look each other. Suddenly Spencer leaned in and kissed Ashley. It was a timid kiss at first but as it went on it got more and more passionate

"Thank you," Spencer said and kissed her again.

"As much as I enjoy kissing you," Ashley said bracking the kiss after a couple of minutes. " I think that the test is done."

"Screw the test, come here." Spencer said before locking lips with the brunette again.

* * *

Spencer and Ashley laid on the bed holding each other. "You know we should probably see what the test says." Ashley said. 

" I know, but I'm scared. What if it's positive? What am I going to do?" Spencer said tears building up in her eyes.

"Shh shh. I know that you are scared, but we need to know." Ashley said pushing Spence's hair off her face. "But no matter what I will be with you always."

"Good," Spencer said with a smile. "But you have to look at it. I don't think that I can do it."

"Sure I will," Ashley said getting off the bed and walked to the bathroom.

Spencer sat up on the bed but did not get off. She watched Ashley walk into the bathroom. All the while butterfly's flew around in her stomach. She grab on to the blanket and started to fidget with it. 'What is taking her so long?' she thought to her self. 'Would you just get out here and tell me what it says, all ready.'

"Ashley? Ashley, where are you? Come on don't do this to me. I don't want to play any games. I'm all ready scared shit less as it is." Spencer yelled.

"I'm coming. Hold your horses would ya." Ashley called back. "Okay here I am." She said as she appeared in the door way. She walked over and sat on the end of the bed.

"So what does it say?" Spencer said sliding over and sitting next to Ashley.

Ashley look at Spencer with a scared expression. Her hand was wrapped tightly around the test covering up the indicator.

'Pandora,' she thought, 'I am holding Pandora's Box. This thing can change my...Spencer's...our life. I promise you Spencer Carlin no matter what this thing says I will stand by you. I will help out anyway I can. Just like the way you all ways helped me out. Well here goes nothing.'

With one last look in to Spencer's eyes, Ashley gave her a smile, and looked at what the test said.

"So what does it say?" Spencer asked thirty seconds after Ashley looked at what it said. "Come on what does it say?"

Ashley looked at Spencer. "I want us to be together again," she said.

"What? What are you talking about? What does it say?"

"I want you to be my girlfriend again." Ashley said again.

"So do I, really I do. But do you think that we can talk about this later?" Spencer said with a puzzled tone in her voice.

"Good," Ashley said then handed the test to Spencer.

Spencer slowly took it out of her hand and looked at it.

Positive

Spencer let go of the test and let it drop to the floor. She laid back on the bed and put her hand on her eyes. 'I can't believe this. I'm pregnant. How could this happen to me? HOW?'

Tears started to roll down her face. Ashley saw this and got up and started to walk to the door.

"Where are you going?" Spencer said when she saw what she was doing.

"I am going to give you some time alone." Ashley said and started towards the door again.

"No, wait don't go. I can't...I don't want to do this alone. Come here," Spencer said holding out her hand to Ashley.

Ashley smiled and walked to Spencer and grabbed her hand. Laying down next the her. Spencer moved over next to Ashley and put her head on her chest.

"Can we just lay here like this? I just want to lay here." Spencer asked.

"Of course we can." Ashley said kissing her forehead. "Of course we can."

* * *

Well there you go. No cliffhanger this time. I know you are all disappointed. But there is always next time. Well review please. 


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